There Are Plenty of Fish in the Craigslist Sea and Some of Them Are Awful

Honesty on Craigslist is a good thing.

Finding dates and companionship on Craigslist might actually work out and become more than mindless online amusement if there were more of it. It's not just a matter of finding that special person among the many fish in the dating pond but pulling out the out the carp, gar and other bottom feeders before they permanently foul the waters.

This guy gets points for transparency, but not enough to make up for what a pompus, pretentious piece of work he is. Are women “worthy and deserving”? Oh, if only that were the worst of it.

“Tell me something about yourself that I or other men cannot $$ PURCHASE $$ for a few dollars off the street and you will have my attention.”

Really?

“Men, in general, are TURNED-OFF by aggressive or argumentative woman BECAUSE it is characteristic of a traditional ‘masculine/ person and NOT someone feminine.”

Yes, dear. Now, kiss Patch’s patootie.

What Patch wants to know, and perhaps someone can offer some insight here, is exactly what kind of woman he expects to meet all of these qualifications. This sounds more like a contract than a courtship. Again: Worthy and deserving?

Patch doesn’t know any women who deserve this guy.

Around the Patches

In Urbandale, was it rude to stare? Or is it OK if it’s love at first sight.

In West Des Moines, he stared at her for two hours. Two hours. Did he blink? And maybe he had some kind of a rash. That could have been the case here, too.

In Ankeny, it’s unclear whether the Force is with these folks. She doesn’t need the Force – or advice – with those awesome shoes.

In Waukee, bring it on. He loved Carla K. and her little dog, too.

In Johnston, there’s no time for romance. There’s a dead cat on Birchwood Court if someone wants to bury it.

Somewhere along Interstate 35, taking risks on the daily commute.

Why didn’t they figure it out in sixth grade? Do’h. Because they were 12.

Always the girlfriend, never the wife.

These people have issues. Oh, yes they do. And Blondie just doesn’t have a heart for truth.

This is a soap opera. There are more than 300,000 people in this naked city, so offer a bit more of a clue, OK?